Mama

Mama left us on Saturday August 6,2022 around 5:30am.

She has been battling with Parkinson's for a few years, and chronic asthma. Her decline in the last five days have been rapid.

We were talking with her that night. I was on video call so I could see her. Before I hung up, I told her it was ok. She looked at me and with all her strength she said I love you. I knew in my heart she was telling me Goodbye. My dad fell asleep around 3am that night next to her and he jolted awake at around 5:45am because it was suddenly so quiet and he saw that my Mom had passed. He called me and placed the phone next to her. I told her I love her and I am sorry and that she's the best Mom anyone could have ever asked for. I told her not to be scared and to follow that light to that beautiful place that she deserves. We take comfort that she is no longer suffering here. And that her memories will always be with us. She will want us to remember her in happy times.

She has touched so many lives here. And she has welcomed so many into her life and always had a smile for anyone. She loved everyone that has crossed her path. She always made sure my friends were fed. Many of my dear childhood friends will remember her quiche and pies.  The love she radiates will always be carried with us.

When I went to church this morning, I was reassured that my brother will now be looking after her and that she wants us to be happy so that she can leave us peacefully.

She will now be doing all the line-dancing she's ever wanted to do in Heaven, with many loved ones to surround her with love and peace and lots of light.

I love you Mama. You taught me what unconditional love means. I will always miss you. I will carry the memories in my heart forever. And I will see you soon.

Stories from my Papa - My brother that I never met

 Today we talked about my brother.

He was stillborn. On October 31st 1970 in Kuantan. The doctors came late and the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. By the time they took him out he stopped breathing. He missed life by a minute.

My dad got to see him and held him briefly. 

My parents named him Adrian Lau Chi Onn. But my Mom picked the name Eugene.

Papa says some days he can still feel his presence. Like that one time when he was driving home from Melaka and feeling very down, he felt my brother comforting him.

When I was a young girl, my imaginary friend was my brother. I would tell him stories. And when I was upset, I spoke to him. I can't remember when I stopped. But I never forgot him even though I never met him. 

Maybe one day when I cross that bridge, I hope he will be the first face I see.

 

Lucas' 3rd year

You never fail to make us laugh with your funny antics.

Preschool has been great for you.You can write your full name and count to 100 before 3 years old.

But coloring and drawing isn't one of your best skills yet.

You still love all things numbers, shapes and alphabets. And PlayDoh and Kinetic sand.

You enjoy going to school especially on the days that you are the Calendar helper or the Weather person or the Leader.

We still struggle with your eating habits. It is chicken tenders/nuggets every day. And occasional fried okra or fried fish. And seaweed and black sesame paste. You quit eating fried shrimp and applesauce. Oh how I wish you would try rice and cereal, and vege! But you would at least eat cake and icing now!

And we found out you could read! We just happened to hear you reading everything out loud one day so I don't know when you actually started reading. You would just read all the signs you see at the grocery store, and store fronts, lyrics to your favorite songs, and sometimes you would read over our shoulders when we are trying to read our book. And now that you can read, you can also change channels on the TV and have full control of the remote. Your favorite channel is NickJr. You know all the names of every cartoon character.

And you also remember every name and person that come across your path. Even the kids you met briefly at Chick-Fil-A. You never forget a name or a face.

You are also our grocery list maker, because you remember all the things we need. I found a paper with your writing "Eggs, Bread, Milk" in my purse one day

Dada is now Daddy. MahMo is now MawMaw. Mommy is still Mommy, but some times you will try a Mom or Bernadette when you are trying to get my attention.

Your 3rd birthday cake you wanted an elephant cake so Mommy made you one.

We went for our annual beach vacation with the family and you had a blast with your cousins. Not a fan of sunblock, and not afraid of the water at all.

It is time to sign you up for swim lessons.

You enjoyed PorPor and Kung Kung's visit and was sad when they left after 5 months. Then we have 6 Yee and Yat Onn come to visit for 2 weeks. You had lots of fun on the mountains with them and at the beach again. Again, you were really sad when they left.

Lucas' 2nd year

You are obsessed with all electronic devices. Every evening you demand for the phone or iPad so you could call your grandparents, over and over again. You will say 'papa pa dette", which I think means Dette's papa.
Seeing a little 18 month old so proficient with the phone or tablet is quite amazing. You just know what to click and swipe your little fingers. You even showed your mama how to get hidden emoticons on the tango app that I never even knew existed! And you love watching videos of yourself over and over again, giggling and imitating yourself.

In September, we went to the Apple festival in Hendersonville. Dada had a gig. You were eating your vege chips. But you picked out all the colors and left the red ones behind.

September 2 was your first day in playschool. Only twice a week for 4 hours. You cried. And when they moved you to the playroom or playground, you cried again. Perhaps you were afraid your family wouldn't be able to find you if you moved.

The First Year

Dear Son,

You have brought us a year of joy, excitement and filled our hearts with love.

It was the biggest anticipation waiting for your birth. And you decided to show up late. 12 days late. And mummy’s belly got bigger and bigger. The 24 hours leading to your birth was an excruciating wait and when the doctor finally pulled you out and we heard your loud cry, that was the best moment in our lives. You were perfect in every way.

Your eyes were opened the moment you were born and your eyes were bright and never missed a thing. They still are. They tell us all babies slept for 10 hours. But not you my dear son. You were awake every hour for your feeding and loved to be held in our arms. In fact, that was the only time you slept. You did not like to be wrapped up and liked your arms and legs free. And those strong legs of yours could really kick. You were also very tall. 21 inches at birth. And 9 pounds.

You had both sets of grandparents wrapped around your little finger. You loved talking (blabbering) to them especially to Kung Kung every morning.

Your first words were Baba, Mama, Dada, La, Mek.. You would say Ba (for bus) each time the school bus came by. Baba (for your milk bottle), Ah Mer (for Summer the doggie) and Ber (for bear). You loved Aspen the Owl that Godma Fiona gave you. And you went to sleep each night with your Goodnight Moon Bunny Lovey (you named him Tata). We would read Goodnight Moon together every night.. over and over again.

And Flashcards. You were curious why the circle, orange and ball all looked alike but were named differently. It was always a joy to see how your little mind worked.

Your laughter is probably the best. That little chuckle warms my heart and the way you raise your eyebrows is too cute. Everyone says you looked like a little man the minute you were born.

You first rolled over at 10 weeks old. Sat up at 5 months. And took your first steps on November 8 – around 11.5 months old.

You will eat anything pureed but will gag at just about anything not pureed or textured, but you will eat puffs, rice crackers and saltine crackers and even a couple of potato chips. So I think we have to work on this eating activity with you some.

The zoo was your first roadtrip adventure with your cousins, grandparents and Aunt. And your first weeklong vacation without Mommy and Daddy was to the Tennessee mountains and to Dollywood.

We went to the beach this summer. You enjoyed the early morning walks with Mommy by the beach and being carried in the Ergo. The cousins adored you and always wanted to play with you. But you did not want your feet in the sand, nor in the water.

You had the little cyst on your ear removed on September 20. Mommy could not sleep all night even though it was just a little surgery. You were so brave going in. But was not happy after the surgery. With all the tubes sticking into you, that is not fun at all.

Por Por got to come back for a 5 months visit to spend time with you watching you grow.

You love watching other children play. And always gave a smile to strangers at the grocery store or in restaurants. You laughed at the employee in Costco who was arranging meat in the freezer.

When we say “love love”, you will touch your forehead to ours and you give the best hugs.

You love looking at yourself in the mirror. And you think the snot sucker is funny. You will watch videos of yourself laughing over and over again and burst into uncontrollable giggles each time. Cutest thing ever.

Riding in the red wagon is one of your favorite activities with your Paw Paw. Paw Paw also made you a swing and you enjoyed it so much, even in the cold.

For Halloween, you were supposed to be a giraffe but you had a fit when we put the costume on you so you went as Calvin and Hobbes and rode in your red wagon.

On your first birthday, Mommy planned a cupcake themed party with family and our friends, The Austins. We tried to get you to taste your very first cake but you would not even touch it. A poke was all we got from you. And that is okay.

We look forward to many more years with you.

I love you, son.

Goodbye my feline friend

Today we had to say goodbye to Trouble. It was so hard.
He was 20 years and 7 months old.
Even though I only had 7 years with this cat, he became my buddy real quick. Smart, funny, a great communicator and a total brat. That's not all. He sat with me all day when I was sick. He woke me up when I fell asleep downstairs in front of the TV and led me upstairs to bed. There was always a warm spot at the foot of my side of the bed, and he would let me put my feet under the covers under him during winter to keep them warm. He kept me sane when the husband was out of town, which was every week.

Now, my feet will always be cold. But I will always have wonderful memories of the only cat that has kept my heart warm these seven years.



And I thank you for being Jason's best friend for the past 20 years. You made our family complete.

I hope they have your favorite flavor of Greenies up in cat heaven.

I miss you Trouble. I just wished I could pet your head for one last time....Goodbye my feline friend.

Baby Shower

Sophie and Susan hosted our baby shower yesterday. The day before, a group of girls at work organized a little shower just amongst six girls. And my department will organize one at work next month. I feel loved! Baby is lucky boy.

Goodbye to PUPPP

My PUPPP (Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy) finally went away after seven days. The first three days I spent researching and reading what other women did. On the 4th day, I was totally miserable. And I finally managed to get an appointment with the dermatologist on the 6th day.

In the meantime, I was trying out all sorts of lotions, creams and ointments. Some made it worse.

This is what worked best for me:
Sarna Lotion
Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap
Shower with cool water. (Warm water made the rashes flare up and itched more)
Steroid cream (from the dermatologist)
Dandelion Root capsules (1 capsule, 3 times a day)

I also avoided sugar. And cut down on fried foods. I drank freshly squeezed lemon juice every morning.
Ate brussel sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli and avocado every other day. Walnuts and apples as a snack.
Basically, foods that support liver health was on my diet list.

Three women told me to avoid cocoa butter lotion. I think that may have been what triggered the rash in the first place.